The Texas Winter Games

One of the most unrelatable sporting events for anyone from the south has to be the winter Olympics. I ask you, fellow Texan, what is your point of comparison for Alpine skiing down the white powdered Tofana di Mezzo? How about for the experience of bob sledding? Who but a Canadian could explain the rules, much less the appeal, of curling?

I’ve watched the winter Olympics since I was a kid and a huge part of the appeal was the almost otherworldliness of the snow and ice-based events. This has carried over to my kids. However, because we’ve had at least three significant snow or ice storms in the last five years (including the one two weeks ago) they’ve had the opportunity to approximate the winter Olympics three times between the last two winter Olympics.

They didn’t go bob sledding or anything but with a little imagination the boys made what they could out of what they had and came up with their own version of the winter games.

Texas Winter Olympics event 1: Sidewalk gliding. We had 1-2” of sleet that hard-froze while the nights were a very un-Central Texas 17 degrees. This unique combination of weather meant the sidewalks were thickly glazed with ice-topped sleet. Sidewalk gliding is where you run (as much as one can on ice) and then whilst standing glide along the ice like you’re riding a boogie board. The older boys could glide a surprisingly long way and the youngest boy, unsurprisingly, fell a lot.

It turns out sneakers with worn down soles work best so there was a parade of competitors coming inside to swap out their study and well-soled boots for flimsy, worn shoes.

Texas Winter Olympics event 2: Penguin races. This one developed from a mistake but became a very popular event. It started with the boys trying to find a way to race down a short hill sitting on cardboard boxes. This worked ok but didn’t provide the thrill they were looking for.

They pivoted to attempting to race down the concrete drainage embarkment next to the hill. This provided too much excitement in the form of me telling them to stop before they face planted on the concrete.

Back on the grass hill, one of the boys didn’t want to wait until a piece of cardboard was available and dove face first on his belly arms tucked in penguin style. And a new sport was born. They got so good at this they were doing it on the flat ground with impressive grace. If graceful is what you call a 5-year-old in a camouflage jumpsuit gliding across the street on his stomach.

Texas Winter Olympics event 3: Ice collecting. I admit, the only thing that makes this sound like a Winter Olympic event is the word ice in the title. But hey, curling doesn’t even have that. This sounds like a boring event but the boys turn the act of breaking up ice or sleet sheets from the sidewalk into a hocky-like competition. They race to get the best item for breaking up ice – a garden trowel, a stick, a cat-claw nail remover? Apparently.

During the rush to get the best tool there is some jostling (i.e., full-body checking). Once they have their tool and begin work there is so much hammering and scraping it sounds more like a Zamboni coming down the street than like kids playing. They pile their chipped away ice into buckets or crates or the back of their brother’s jumpsuit and compete to see who has the most.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell who won. However you can always tell who lost. Hint: It’s the brother in the camouflage jumpsuit with the ice down his back.