Feeling "Stuck" in the Middle

I’m feeling stuck in the middle lately. I’m not old and limited by what I can’t do yet, but I’m also not young enough to eagerly do everything I’m still able to do either. I have a teenager and will soon have two but also have five that are 10 or younger. Those ages don’t lend themselves to a ton of overlap and I’m often caught between doing things for/with one or the other group. Caught in the middle.

I feel caught in the middle with Daddy Days too. I feel like I’m caught between repeating myself and branching out into new territory that goes beyond the scope of the Daddy Days columns. Neither seems like a great option and I’m sort of stuck in limbo.

I think our middle child feels this way too. He’s so often on the cusp of being in with the “big” boys and so often relegated to the company of the littles. He’s big for his age but as counterintuitive as it sounds, this is often a disadvantage in both camps.

Amongst the littles he’s viewed as older than he is due to his size and his immaturity (or appearance of such) stands out worse. Amongst the bigs, he outwardly appears to fit in until his actual immaturity is seen and then he’s the lowest man on the totem pole.

My grandma wanted my younger brother (the middle child in our family) to know being a middle child was a privilege. I remember my relaying this message from her several times and knew it was important to her that my brother knew this.

I can think of some ways it is a special advantage to be the middle child. But not many.

I’m not a middle child so I don’t know from experience but it also seems like saying it’s a privilege is arguing against the much easier to grasp reality that being the middle kid is hard.

I wonder why my grandma wanted my middle brother to know this? To avoid him cultivating a victim mentality? To help him see the wisdom of focusing on what your lot in life is instead of what it isn’t and being content with it? To let him know that every person has special advantages in some way or another?

I suppose it could be all of those things. And the fact that I’ve described this situation as being “stuck” in the middle is telling. No matter where you are in the birth order (oldest, youngest, not the oldest, etc) or in life (teenaged, mid-life, or elderly) it’s easy to feel stuck if you’re focused on what you’re dissatisfied with.

Maybe it’s easier to become dissatisfied when you’re in the middle, seeing as you have a point of comparison on either side of you. Maybe that’s the key to getting the right perspective and seeing the privilege in being in the middle though.

When you’re in the middle, you can see there are downsides to both points of comparison. A la Goldilocks, when the chairs, porridge, and beds on either side are the ones that are too hard, too cold, or too big the one you’re in is just right. Being able to see that is indeed a privilege.

I think Grandma knew what she was talking about.