Raining on the Me Time Parade

Welcome to a new segment in Daddy Days called, Today in Unpopular Opinions. Today’s topic is, “me time”.

You know how in school there was always one kid who would be like, “excuse me, Teacher, you forgot to assign us homework.” Well, at the risk of being that kid for parents, I’m going to say it: the concept of me time is garbage.

Let’s define our terms. The OED says me time is, “time spent relaxing on one's own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy.”

In order to get at why me time is garbage, let’s put this concept up against parenthood. It doesn’t take a terribly long look to determine the two are incompatible and contradictory.

Parents give up themselves as the priority when they have kids. Whether you agree with it, are aware of it, or want it to be so — that’s the way it is. It’s contrary to nature and experience to claim otherwise and really, do we want our kids to come second to me time?

The honest question to that answer? Yeah, sometimes. But is that a good thing?

The straw man counter argument to this is that this means you have to “let yourself go” and not take care of yourself at all. But, like I said, that’s just a straw man. The opposite of me time is you time not some self-destructive anti-personal care live-like-a-savage time.

The self-destructive thing here is actually me time. I don’t think me time and the various ways that it’s showing up in or corrupting other concepts like self-care or treat culture is a beneficial thing.

At best, it’s a misguided attempt to assist parents in their vocation. You know how on airlines during the pre-flight safety talk they always tell you to put your mask on first before helping anyone else in the event of cabin de-pressurization? I can see someone making a poor analogy for how me-time functions like this for parents. But emergencies (like the sudden loss of oxygen 30,000 feet in the air) are by definition exceptions to the rule. When the acceptable number one rule is me-first (me time literally has “me” first) it can hardly be called an exception.

And that’s the thing, me time is being promoted on all sides. It’s certainly a marketing ploy. Doesn’t self-care ALWAYS seem to be associated with you buying something? A special drink, a new piece of tech, a laser face mask, etc

My biggest issue with me time and the selfishness it’s based on is that humans don’t need to be told to focus on themselves. That part is assumed. But they do need to be told to focus on others. Yet we’ve now created a whole culture to claim the moral high ground for me time instead.

Sure, take care of yourself. But when that’s the priority and reinforced by everything from doctors to marketers to social media how will this not create selfish people and beget an even more selfish next generation?

I told you from the start this was an unpopular opinion. But is it wrong?