My Top 10 Dad Sayings

10. Don’t run in the house. To be clear, a phrase being in the top 10 doesn’t mean it’s heeded. In most cases, it probably means it’s NOT being heeded and I’m repeating it over and over. Perhaps while diving out of the way of various children racing down the hallway like missiles.

9. Close the door. A classic dad pet peeve. Is it the letting in of flies and mosquitoes? Is it the letting out of AC and heat? Answer: yes.

8. No. It may not exactly be a saying, but surely “no” is the most common word I say for the first six years of my sons’ lives. We haven’t gotten there yet but I think it’s going to be making a comeback in the last six years of my daughter’s adolescence too…

7. Turn off the light. Someone recently pointed out that the lights being left on in my parent’s and their parent’s generation was a much more wasteful thing than in our hyper-efficient LED light bulb generation. Don’t care. It still drives me crazy and drives this saying into the top 1o for sure.

6. Because I said so. I don’t know which modern child psychologist to credit with the brilliant idea that a parent always needs to give a reason to their child for their decision, but I don’t think they actually had kids. Nope. Parents are parents, kids are kids, and in that hierarchical relationship because I said so is absolutely valid. This classic needs to make a comeback.  

5. It’s time for bed. Let’s see, bedtime happens every day, there are 365 days in a year, we have seven kids so that’s 2,555, “It’s time for bed” sayings a year. Yes, these days, I’m not saying that very often to the older kids so that number is probably lower now… but I’m probably saying it 3-4 times each for the 2 and 5-years olds so this is a saying that by sheer quantity has to be on this list.   

4. Quiet! Variations: Be quiet! Quiet down! Hush! Shhh! There are probably a dozen ways to communicate this idea and all of them have to have an exclamation point because otherwise they can’t hear me telling them to bring down the volume.

3. Clean up this room. At least, those are the words I think are coming out of my mouth. Somehow they hear something else like, jump on the bed, shove everything into the closet, and pretend to clean and then wander off.

2. I forgive you. Kids mess up. A lot. So they’re going to say they’re sorry a lot and need to know everything’s ok a lot.

1. I love you. There are many ways to show this but kids need to hear it too. Is it number one on this list because it’s the saying I use more than any other? No. But it is the most important and the one behind every other saying on this list.