Losing the Battle against Candy Thieves

Halloween is over and the kids were duly rewarded for their efforts. By efforts I mean playing dress up for a few hours one late October evening and by rewards I means pounds and pounds of candy.

There was a record setting candy haul this year. How do I know it was a record? The boys literally weighed their take. However, that is only the beginning of their labor when the trick-or-treating is over. Once the candy haul is home the real work begins: protecting the candy from candy thieves.

Let’s round up the usual suspects. That would be the five and 2-year-olds. The 5-year-old definitely knows better and it’s pretty frustrating that he’s still trying to pull this off. You’d think the consequences from getting caught, and the fact that with six other pairs of siblings’ eyes on the watch he’s likely to get caught, he’d learn his lesson. But no.

The pickpocketing of brothers’ candy continues, as do his terrible attempts to hide the evidence that is the candy wrapper trash. Why do little kids always think under their pillow is a brilliant hiding spot?

The 2-year-old must know better seeing as everyone is telling her not to get into the candy but she is undeterred in her attempts to swipe candy. For her, the telltale chocolate ring around the face and the trail of candy trash is the giveaway. Unlike the 5-year-old, she doesn’t even try to hide the candy trash. The boldness is strong with this one.

She really is the perfectly troubling mixture of fearlessness at being caught coupled with a quietness that 2-year-olds getting into things don’t typically possess.

Like a cat burglar, master jewel thief, or this sneaky gecko I saw one time — she moves through the house. No spot is too high, no corner too hidden, no door too baby-proof for her to open. Even with all the watchful eyes, she finds a way to get into the stash. All she needs is a few seconds and she seems to have a sixth sense for knowing just the right time to strike.

The 5-year-old has had his candy confiscated after multiple pantry thefts and being caught red-handed eating candy in bed. I don’t think the 2-year-old really understands that she even has candy to be taken away. I think she’s under the impression that all candy in the house is her candy. Actually, I think she’s under the impression all candy everywhere is her candy.

We’ve moved to storing Halloween candy behind a closet door with a latch the 5-year-old and the 2-year-old can’t reach. With older siblings who can unlatch the door forgetting to re-latch it it’s not a perfect system. However, it’s been an improvement and our current candy theft rate is much lower than it was a week ago.

If experience has taught me anything though, it’s that it won’t be long until our little candy burglars figure out how to open that latch.

Update: I wrote the preceding sentence a week ago. Since that time I’ve been informed that the 2-year-old has indeed cracked the candy vault. Our little Kit-Kat burglar figured out she can reach her tiny hand under the latched closet door, grab one of the backpacks the candy is in, and then tip it over or pick pieces of candy out of it and pull the candy under the door.

I’m going to have it look into a candy alarm system…