If you Give a Dad a…

Laura Numeroff’s children’s story, “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie…” has always been a favorite of mine. So, in honor of another thing that is my favorite, Father’s Day, I’ve composed a Daddy Days column in the style of, “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie…”

If you give a dad a beer…he’s likely going to want a place to sit down and enjoy it. When he walks outside to find a nice seat, he’ll see the Adirondack chair is broken.

So he’ll ask his son to get a screwdriver. When his son brings him a tool he’ll realize the tool is a wrench, so he’ll walk to the garage to show his son what a screwdriver is.

When he goes into the garage he’ll probably trip over the mess on the floor. Then he’ll call all his sons and say they need to help clean the garage.

While picking up the garage, one of his sons will point out the tire on his bike is flat. When the dad sees the flat tire, he’ll get a bicycle pump and air up the tire.

When the tire gets full he’ll likely hear the gentle whooshing sound of all the air leaking out of the hole in the tire. So he’ll get his bike tire repair kit.

Once he repairs the tire, he’ll likely see that his hands are covered in grease and grime. So he’ll go to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

When he’s washing his hands he’ll look under the sink for the special grease removing soap. He’ll notice the soap container is wet. When he looks closer he’ll see the sink is leaking.

He’ll get some tools and a light and discover there’s a crack in one of the pipes. So he’ll go to the home repair store to get a new one. When he gets back home he will find the pipe he bought is not the right size.

So he’ll go back to the home repair store. He will get one of every pipe on the plumbing repair aisle. Then he’ll go back home.

He’ll check each pipe he bought and the last one will fit. So he’ll fix the sink.

When he’s done fixing the sink, he’ll put away his tools. Then he’ll notice that he’s thirsty.

So…he’ll probably ask for a beer. And chances are if he asks for a beer, he’s going to want a place to sit down and enjoy it.