Where the Wild Things aren't in Costume

Things are getting a little spooky out there. There’s a chill in the air (maybe) and the ghoulish sights of Halloween are all around us. Ghosts and werewolves appear in yards and monsters lurk down retail store aisles and on TV specials.

But are these truly the scary things? Perhaps there are things much more frightening that don’t just haunt late October. Perhaps parents share homes with them every day. Take a look through the following list of fictional Halloween characters and their real and recognizable family counterparts and you tell me: which is the truly frightful apparition?

The Headless Horseman / The Pantless Toddler
Many are familiar with Washington Irving’s ghostly, galloping, deceased, and decapitated specter that haunted Sleepy Hollow in general and Ichabod Crane in particular. But the Pantless Toddler isn’t so geographically limited. He can startle you anywhere and appear in the most inopportune of places.

Frankenstein (Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster) / The Sleepy Teenager
Frankenstein’s monster is a classic Halloween character. You don’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley and he’s not exactly a joy to look at in the light either. But you could probably get more words out of him than out of the Sleepy Teenager. The Sleepy Teenager isn’t a science experiment gone wrong, but don’t tell him that. All he knows is that he’s tired and it’s someone else’s fault.

Count Dracula / The Hungry Boys
Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a horrifying villain. The popularity of vampires is a credit to his enduring frightful appeal. However, Dracula must be granted permission to come in your house whereas the Hungry Boys will eat you out of house and home without so much as a please. The Hungry Boys don’t, “want to suck your blood.” They want to drain your bank account one box of cereal at a time.  

Werewolf / Sugar Rush Child
The transformation from man to Werewolf is scary. But it’s predictable. Full moon, claws, howling, you know the deal. But the transformation from kid to Sugar Rush Child strikes like lightning. And, whereas you have some time to run while a werewolf is transforming, when a Sugar Rush Kid crashes there is no escape.

Ghost / Tattler
Ghosts are a classic symbol of Halloween and all-things spooky. They haunt abandoned houses, graveyards, and attics where they’re known to…make creepy sounds. Which means they have nothing on a Tattler. A tattler (a.k.a. a Tattle Tale) haunts the hallway of your home waiting for an adult to pass so he can shock them with tales of his brothers’ bad deeds done. There’s no avoiding a Tattler or the tale of mischief he tells.