The Crack of Dawn Kid

All kids don’t follow the same sleep patterns. But there’s a general range of bedtimes and wake times and with consistency it’s possible to keep even a large family on an overlapping sleep schedule. Until the crack of dawn kid comes along.

If you have one, you know what I mean. You also know that crack of dawn is an inadequate expression in this case. Our 4-year-old wakes up well before dawn and an hour and a half before any of his siblings typically begin to stir.

The body’s circadian rhythm is amazing. With no alarm clock, no wake-up cues, and no signals from the sun the 4-year-old just knows at (I don’t know, 5:27 a.m.) he’s getting up.

Surely we could help retrain his circadian rhythm, right? That may work for a kid who’s waking up too early by 30 or 45 minutes but it’s powerless against the crack of dawn kid. A later bedtime then? It makes no difference. Or rather, it makes no difference as to his wake-up time but does make him crankier for lack of sleep

My brother refers to one of his young kids as “the morning terrorist” due to his early morning wakings and disruption. This is an apt description as negotiating with an early morning terrorist is just as ill-advised as negotiating with terrorists in the movies.

I’ve heard stories of other early rising children whose parents have consented to deal with the situation by encouraging the early riser to go to another room in the house and read or play quietly so as not to wake up the rest of the house.

I used to think that was just encouraging the early rising behavior. But now I think that would be a great idea. The problem is the crack of dawn kid is also part rooster. And just like roosters in real life, he doesn’t just crow when the sun comes up. He crows whenever he gets up. Or when he sits down. Or when there’s numbers on the clock.

He makes such a ruckus talking to himself and marching down the hall it’s a wonder he hasn’t trained all his siblings to wake up early too. But even if they aren’t waking up early regularly, they’re being woken up before they’re ready. Half-a-dozen cranky kids in the same house is a recipe for disaster.

To make matters worse, we’re t-minus one month away from “falling back” with daylight savings time. Not only does that throw the entire family’s rhythm off and require weeks of adjustment for even the normal wake-up times kids, but the crack of dawn kid will be a whole additional hour ahead in his wakings.

Benjamin Franklin’s saying, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,” may have some application in the adult world. But for kids, the early riser doesn’t have the same benefits.

So I’ve come up with my own saying for the crack of dawn kid. Early to bed, too early to rise – makes your dad crazy, cranky, and tired.