Birthday Season

We just ended birthday season at our house. From June through August five of the seven kids have birthdays so we average a birthday every 18 days through the summer. Which is a lot.

Having so many birthdays and so many birthdays close together, I’ve had an opportunity to study all-things birthday. We (with almost prophetic levels of self-preservation) decided with the eldest’s first birthday that we weren’t going to do big parties. But, like the 18th century Germans who supposedly invented kids birthday parties (kinderfest!), we still have cake and we also do presents with the family.

What I don’t understand is the progression from a modest cake, to a super sugary frosted cake, to the mandatory offering of “cake and ice cream” at kids birthday parties. What parent was at a chaotic kids birthday party and about to slice cake when they thought: you know what these sugar-fueled imps need with their cake? Ice cream.

They say “holiday weight gain” — pounds put on from Thanksgiving to New Years — is somewhere in the 1-8lbs per year range. What about birthday weight gain from five birthdays between June and August!?

The holiday weight gain “facts” and studies are far from uncontested but the point remains; birthday season is fraught with difficulties. And they go beyond cake.

Like with presents. Just when we think we’ve got time to get a birthday gift and and can put off getting it for a week or so, another birthday is here. The number of times we’ve realized the birthday is less than a week away and we don’t have something is too many to count.

Online retailers and delivery services would do well to offer a birthday perk where parents get free expedited shipping within 24 hours of their kid’s birthday. I suspect we wouldn’t be the only ones benefitting from that service.

It turns out birthday presents are a good way to get insight into a kid’s personality. The item they get or ask for can provide a glimpse into who they are, but seeing how they handle being the birthday boy or girl is even more telling.

Do they act like a magnanimous king for the day, granting siblings the right to play with their new toys? Or do they declare all new things off limits to even their siblings touch?

I’ve heard one of the kids, at least a week before his birthday, say, “if you don’t let me play with you I’m not going to let you play with any of my new stuff on my birthday.” A proactive, although perhaps self-serving, approach.

I’m looking forward to the respite fall brings from birthday season at our house. But I know, all too soon, we’ll be counting down the days until the next big celebratory event: Christmas. 

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