Some Ideas for Future Olympic Events

The Paris summer Olympics are in full swing. In addition to the regular Olympic events like the 100M dash, swimming, basketball and soccer, there are some new events you may not have heard of.

Making their debut this year are surfing, sport climbing, and breaking. And by breaking (the official International Olympic Committee name) I mean break dancing. Yes, dance battles are now an Olympic sport.

Several sources say the IOC wanted to add events that were more appealing to a younger audience. It turns out breakdancing isn’t very popular amongst geriatrics.

I’ll leave the whole, “is this a sport?” argument to someone else. For some riveting reading, check out the Olympic charter’s rules on what constitutes a sport. Spoiler alert: not chess. All purely “mind sports” are disqualified.

Disregarding the structures and stricture of the IOC, I decided to take a look at events and sports in our house to see which ones I think should be considered for future Olympic events.

The Dashandcrashathon. This is an event where you unleash five kids on a combination of wheeled apparatus and then a sixth kid in Crocs footwear who has to dodge, dip, and dive while making his way from one side of a playing area to the other. For instance, the 12-year-old is on a bike, the 11-year-old is wearing skates, the 9 and 8-year-olds are on scooters, and the 3-year-old is on a plasma car while the 6-year-old cuts in and out of the area they are riding in.

I don’t think they intended for this to be a game, but it clearly has the potential to be the next great event at the Olympics. I mean, rugby is an event, and the chaotic on field mess that goes on in that sport is definitely less intelligible than in dashandcrashathon.

 

Here’s another activity up for consideration: the sport of being the first to rush and get the item your brother was asked to get. It only counts if you aren’t the one who was asked (apparently). So, if I ask the 6-year-old to get a paper towel but before he can get out of his seat the 9-year-old springs up from the table and gets it, in the sport of name hurdles, the 9-year-old won.

It’s not a “mind sport” but there are definitely some mind games going on.

There are often several events at the summer Olympics that revolve around athletes throwing an item as far as they can. Shot put, discus, and javelin throwing all come to mind. The event my kids participate in and should be considered is a future Olympic event is competitive voice tossing. Also known as: screaming. I’ll be two sometimes three blocks away and hear a distinct enough shout to identify the 3-year-old. That’s some serious range. 

 Finally, there’s sock skiing. This is where you run down the tile hall in socks and then slide Risky Business style. The goal is not to fall -- and not to let Dad see you do it. It’s definitely one of the most popular sports in our house and fraught with danger, excitement, and scandal (getting caught by Dad). With elements like that, how could this not be a future Olympic sport?  

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