Saying a Grateful Goodbye

Summer in childhood is marked by all sorts of things. Swimming, playing outside, going fishing, the Fourth of July, ice cream, vacation, and loss. And while one of these things seems not to belong here, a glance over your childhood summers past will likely confirm that loss plays a part in the summer.

For most it was probably a friend or family member moving away. Many a childhood best friend says their last goodbye in the summer. Many siblings go off to college in the summer too.

The loss associated with moving, or graduating, or changing schools can all happen in the summer, and for children these are the valleys in between the mountain tops of summer experiences.

This summer is going to have a valley in the form of one of our neighbors, Mrs. Jane, moving away.

The boys will be sad not to see her (and her dog, Macy) anymore, but the truth is they don’t truly realize what they’re losing. They will, one day, though. Because you have to grow up and learn more about life to appreciate the exceptional people you took for granted as a child.

When you’re a kid, especially living on a street like ours amongst truly caring neighbors, you don’t know it’s not normal for a neighbor to take such an interest in you. They don’t know what an unusual blessing they’ve had to have Mrs. Jane come by throughout the week and talk with them, show them little treasures, bring them little treats, and encourage them. Their sister doesn’t know that most of her baby clothes were deliveries from Mrs. Jane.

I don’t take many videos of the boys but I really wish I had recorded what used to happen in our backyard when Mrs. Jane walked by the fence. She would say, “hello, young men” and no matter what they were doing all six boys stopped and tore across the yard to the playhouse so they could look over the fence and talk with her. The (then) 2-year-old would be so excited he couldn’t even speak and would just bellow, “Jane!” as he ran.

Mrs. Jane always addresses the boys as, “young men” and has contributed toward their development into young men by treating them as such. From encouraging their manners, to praising them for taking on responsibilities or childhood achievements, she made a point to recognize their growth.

I’ve heard it said that daily, unplanned interactions are the basis for friendship. There’s probably a lot of truth to that. It’s also the way kids form memories and the sort of things that make up a childhood.

That red house will always be Mrs. Jane’s house to the boys. The huge Christmas wreath may not go up on Thanksgiving Day anymore, but its absence will make it loom even larger in their memories.

One day the blessing of having a neighbor who took such an interest in their family will dawn on them. But Mrs. Jane doesn’t have to wait until the dawn of that day to know she’s been appreciated. And will be dearly missed.