Life is Like a Lemon Tree

One of the boys got my wife a small lemon tree for Mother’s Day. The tree itself was a great idea (thanks, Jane!) but the getting of the tree posed what I didn’t realize was a big dilemma for the boy who got it.

We were at the garden center and my son picked the tree he wanted. Then he said, “All we have to do is keep it alive until Sunday.” It was the Thursday before Mother’s Day. “Once I give it to Mom, she’ll keep it alive. But (he looked off into the middle distance here) it’s up to us to keep it alive until then.”

There’s so much to unpack from this statement and most of it cracks me up.

First off, to a 12-year-old boy, keeping a plant alive for three days is apparently…asking a lot? We got it on Thursday night and he was going to give it to my wife on Sunday morning so really it was like two days. Yet, the hesitation and concern that the plant was going to be dead come Sunday was strong with this one.

Secondly, he had complete trust in Mom being able to keep the plant alive once she had it. That trust is well-founded here. But Dad was privy to the secret plant and that didn’t seem to increase his confidence that the plant would make it. I may have a questionable reputation for keeping potted plants alive but I didn’t think that he was aware of that. Or that it included a mere 48 hours of not killing a plant.

Thirdly, his thought process (once the plant is in Mom’s care it’ll be fine) demonstrated an implicit trust in Mom that parents want for their kids. You want them to think that once something is in Dad or Mom’s hands it’s taken care of and off the kid’s plate so to speak.

It would be crushing to pull back the curtain and reveal the staggering scope of things Dad and Mom are taking care of that the kids have no idea about. Not only are things like mortgages, insurance, crime, war, severe weather, and medical care often beyond their grasp, but for a while those words don’t have any power up against Dad and Mom.

We know our limitations (potted plants apparently). And just like my son looked dubiously at the responsibility of keeping the tree alive on his own for three days, I know that without Providence we fair no better against the responsibility of keeping our family going in the face of all the outside forces in this world.

With Dad’s help (or despite it) the 12-year-old had a healthy little lemon tree to give Mom on Mother’s Day. It won’t be long now, until the 12-year-old realizes Dad and Mom aren’t in control of everything. A part of growing up is coming to terms with this about your parents. Part two is coming to terms with it about yourself.

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