The Father of All Spy Tricks

The older boys are really into spy books and movies right now. They go to great lengths to imagine they’re in “spy school” or on a secret mission when doing the most mundane things. Instead of scoffing at this, in expert spy fashion, I have taken their game to the next level and turned it to my purpose.

Why not make daily tasks into spy-related activities? “Your mission, agent, should you choose to accept it, is to securely dispose of this highly volatile cache of evidence by making an expeditious drop-off of the package at the perimeter of headquarters.” That sure sounds a lot more fun than, “take out the trash.”

With the Mission Impossible music in the background and a phrase like, “this package will self-destruct in five seconds,” you can hand-off a dirty diaper and a boy will gleefully dash for the trash can on his spy assignment.

If they need to get outside and get some exercise, that sounds like an excellent time to engage in some special agent agility training on the obstacle course that is the backyard and jungle gym.

Being able to diffuse a time bomb is top level spy stuff. Being able to diffuse a walking time bomb is the ultimate challenge and what is a 3-year-old who was told they can’t have a cookie other than a walking time bomb?

Recon and repelling practice are another name for tree climbing.

If they’re working on arithmetic, why that’s code breaking.

It’s funny how the slightest change of perspective can help tap into their desire to be preparing for a life of espionage.

Gadgets are a big part of spy life and while it sometimes takes a bit of imagination there are many household items that a spy-in-training can equip himself with.

Flashlights, a voice recorder and sunglasses all serve the purpose of the undercover agent. But much like Q’s gadgets for James Bond, sometimes a spy item looks like an everyday object. A piece of chewing gum is just a piece of chewing gum – unless it’s also an explosive. This means the Lego guns, Lego lasers, Lego drones, and all the other normal Lego looking items can be undercover gadgets for them too.

Reframing things into spy language isn’t always a success though. To try and address a perennial issue at headquarters, I reminded our houseful of James-Bonds-in-training that spies are incredibly accurate and never miss their target. So…they should not be peeing on bathroom floor.

Our agents continue to go rogue in this area. I think I found out how they came up with the name Mission Impossible.