An Eclipse Column Lost in Space

You probably haven’t heard about it, but there is supposed to be a total eclipse on April 8. The media has been virtually silent and people are definitely not freaking out about buying gas, water, and taking precautions for the approximately four minutes and 26 seconds it will be slightly more like dusk than afternoon around 1:30 p.m. that Monday.

Ok, so I’m guessing you’re in the know about the eclipse. I planned to write a column about the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of viewing the eclipse here in central Texas with the kids. Rather, I did write that column. But then I lost it. I had written the column and saved it and then it promptly disappeared from my computer. Forever.

I didn’t discover this tragedy until almost a week later. It was the best column I had ever written, for sure. And there is now no trace of it anywhere. I tried to recall what I had written but the unique combination of words, tone, and astronomy related diaper jokes eluded me.

I wonder if somewhere in the universe there’s a pile of the best lost art of all time… A Rembrandt that his kid spilled spaghetti sauce all over. Tolstoy’s manuscript for War and Peace 2 that flew out the window of a train. The music for Johann Sebastian Bach’s St. Mark’s Passion that one of his kids thought was kindling. And right there at the top of the pile: that Daddy Days column about the eclipse.

The 2024 eclipse isn’t really a once-in-a-lifetime event since part of the US will be in the path of totality for another eclipse in August of 2044 (and in theory you could travel to see other total eclipses too). But I suppose if you’re staying in Texas, or if you don’t make it to 2044, it could be a one-time only engagement. But even if the eclipse itself is borderline once-in-a-lifetime, the lost Daddy Days eclipse column absolutely was a unique and unreproducible piece of work that you’ll never get to experience.

Missing the Daddy Days eclipse column is like missing the Hale-Bopp comet in late 90s. The comet was visible to the naked eye for months in 1996 and 1997 and I remember seeing it with my dad. I also remember thinking it was called the “Hail, Bob!” comet. I thought that was strange because the comet didn’t look anything like a Bob (more like a Steve). Anyway, if you missed seeing the Hale-Bopp comet the likelihood of you seeing it again is…slim. It won’t reappear until the year 4385.

How great would it be if, when the Hale-Bopp comet returns, it brings with it all the documents lost in cyberspace? Those emails that vanished and no one received. Myriads of shopping lists that you definitely made but are gone except for the words “shopping list” at the top. Countless digital documents that have disappeared into the ether.

Actually, that sounds pretty awful. I’m glad I won’t be around when it comes back around.

The lost eclipse column is a good analogy for so much of life. Each second is unique so we’re all constantly moving through unreproducible moments. We have our memories but they’re not perfect. And like in the case of the column we’re often unable to recall the whole story.

So as you’re looking through approved eye protection at the eclipse on April 8, know you’re getting to see something pretty special. But if it ends up being overcast and you miss it forever, well, take comfort. You can know your lost experience is probably keeping the lost Daddy Days column company out there behind a comet somewhere.