The Secret of Parenting Is...

Once you have a child, you become acutely aware of a whole new world all around you. Or rather, this old world suddenly looks new through your changed eyes and you’re admitted into the greatest secret society that never hid itself: parents. 

As the years go on (and more kids show up) there’s a vague sense that you’re missing something about parenting. Am I doing this right? How come so-and-so doesn’t seem to have these issues? The list goes on, and your suspicion increases. Is there another secret, like that of parenthood, that’s hiding in plain sight?

Well, after years of study and research, I’ve finally discovered it: the secret of parenting.

I’ve been through a lot in my quest for the truth at the heart of parenting. I’ve quailed at the spectre of the onset of the stomach flu in the middle of the night. I’ve wrung my hands at the repeated failures to coax an overtired baby to sleep 

I’ve stretched out under celestial skies in the hopes some errant glitter from a distant star would illuminate the shadowy realm of childrearing. Nothing. 

I’ve read books, re-read books, and discussed the merits of all manner of parenting decisions. But still the answer eluded me. 

I’ve changed diapers, doctors, jobs, vehicles, houses, and routines in my quest to isolate the elusive secret at the heart of raising kids. 

But, just like trying to find the match to a pair of baby socks that went through the dryer, my errand proved fruitless. I might as well have been trying to find a lost pacifier in the middle of the night in a rotating ball pit the size of a football field while underwater. 

I’ve scoured the globe (on the Internet) and discovered the undisputed secret to parenting 10 dozen times (also on the Internet). I’ve watched movies, documentaries, TV shows, and stand-up comedy specials only to find myself back at square one.

But then I had an epiphany. Of course! It’s so obvious. How could I have overlooked the secret to parenting for so long? It’s a not a mathematical calculation, or a principle from psychology. It’s not the result of scientific study, artistic interpretation, education, motivation, meditation, or appreciation.  

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