Nicknaming the Crew
Having five children who are all boys is somewhat of a novelty, so I’ve decided we need a nickname for the crew. We get a lot of the whole, “got yourself a basketball team” or “almost a football team” comments and that’s all fine and good.
However, in this age of individuals (and families) being brands, I think we need something more catchy to go by. Here are the top contentenders for names for our all-boys pack of children.
The Five-Pack
Pros: Easy to say, strong beer drinking connotation.
Cons: Will invite questions about when the complete six-pack will be here.
The Five Muskrat Rears
Pros: Semi-clever play on words with the well known Three Musketeers, concise and accurate odor profile.
Cons: Kinda mean.
The Fantastic Five
Pros: Good alliteration.
Cons: Obvious rip off of the Fantastic Four, way too much fuel for the ego and self-esteem express.
The HBP (Harris Brothers Pfraternity)
Pros: Unique, makes good use of the Pf from Pflugerville.
Cons: Encourages even more hazing.
The Five Ys
Pros: Will garner great street cred amongst biologists, fits well with a question I’m always asking, “Why? Why, would you do that?”.
Cons: Easy to misunderstand, chromosomes are so 1990s.
Five for Fighting
Pros: Wildly accurate both because there is so much fighting and so many “five minute penalties” for fighting.
Cons: Hockey references are lost on Texans.
The Refrigerator Five
Pros: Finally, a name that truly aligns with their desire to eat us out of house and home. Cons: Makes me think about the amount of food five teenage boys will be going through.
The Five Refrigerators
Pros: None. This is just a statement about the number of refrigerators we’re going to need by the time the youngest is a teenager.
Caleb’s 5
Pros: Contains my name.
Cons: Shamelessly plays off the Ocean’s 11 films, may encourage or aggrandize grand larceny.
The Wolf Pack
Pros: Adequately warns the uninitiated what they’re dealing with.
Cons: May give wolves a bad name.
However, in this age of individuals (and families) being brands, I think we need something more catchy to go by. Here are the top contentenders for names for our all-boys pack of children.
The Five-Pack
Pros: Easy to say, strong beer drinking connotation.
Cons: Will invite questions about when the complete six-pack will be here.
The Five Muskrat Rears
Pros: Semi-clever play on words with the well known Three Musketeers, concise and accurate odor profile.
Cons: Kinda mean.
The Fantastic Five
Pros: Good alliteration.
Cons: Obvious rip off of the Fantastic Four, way too much fuel for the ego and self-esteem express.
The HBP (Harris Brothers Pfraternity)
Pros: Unique, makes good use of the Pf from Pflugerville.
Cons: Encourages even more hazing.
The Five Ys
Pros: Will garner great street cred amongst biologists, fits well with a question I’m always asking, “Why? Why, would you do that?”.
Cons: Easy to misunderstand, chromosomes are so 1990s.
Five for Fighting
Pros: Wildly accurate both because there is so much fighting and so many “five minute penalties” for fighting.
Cons: Hockey references are lost on Texans.
The Refrigerator Five
Pros: Finally, a name that truly aligns with their desire to eat us out of house and home. Cons: Makes me think about the amount of food five teenage boys will be going through.
The Five Refrigerators
Pros: None. This is just a statement about the number of refrigerators we’re going to need by the time the youngest is a teenager.
Caleb’s 5
Pros: Contains my name.
Cons: Shamelessly plays off the Ocean’s 11 films, may encourage or aggrandize grand larceny.
The Wolf Pack
Pros: Adequately warns the uninitiated what they’re dealing with.
Cons: May give wolves a bad name.