The Inexplicable of Fatherhood -- Explained

I haven’t been a father very long, but I’d say I’m in pretty deep. With four kids and another on the way I’ve at least had a good bit of recent experience becoming a father. 

There are so many things about fatherhood that you can’t explain to someone who isn’t a parent. I mean, you can communicate something in words, but it just won’t ring true or be relatable for those not in the fatherhood club. 

So, seeing as it’s almost Father’s Day, this column is just for fathers. I can’t stop you from reading this if you aren’t a dad, but your time would probably be better spent buying your dad a tie (or something he’d really want like bacon or beer). 

You can’t explain how ungrateful you realize you’ve been as soon as your first is born. It’s a mixture of knowing you don’t deserve this precious gift and also knowing until this moment you didn’t know how completely your parents took care of you. It’s tremendously humbling and unexpected, and nearly indescribable even once it happens. 

You can’t explain the stunning brevity between feelings. You can go from being rightfully frustrated or furious with a child to the complete opposite in a moment. Maybe it’s because you see a part of yourself in everything they do. Maybe it’s because parenting is by nature a roller coaster of experiences. Not sure why, but it’s a thing. 

You can’t explain the amazing amount of interest and love those who love you feel for your kids. I remember watching my brother play with one of our kids and seeing how much he cared for this little person and suddenly knowing it was because of me. I mean, he’s not going to kick a stranger’s kid or anything, but he also wouldn’t be so invested in just any kid. 

You can’t explain the way you’re able to love subsequent kids just as much as your first. You may not like them all the same, but somehow when your second (or third, or fourth) is born, you’ll be able to love them all the same. It’s not forced. It’s not fabricated. You just somehow have double (or triple or quadruple) the love to give. Alright, no more saying love. 

You can’t explain the radical change in your perspective kids bring. You probably won’t even realize it at first (although most can relate to the insane drive home from the hospital/birthing center when every other vehicle on the road is a giant SUV aimed right at your car). But in a little time, looking back at yourself pre-kid(s) is a look back at a different person. One who didn’t see the world through eyes focused on taking care of this helpless new life. 

One thing that can be explained? Things have definitely changed for the better.