Baby Number Five

We’re expecting (again) this summer. I know modern convention says I should have done some sort of clever and cute picture announcement but kid number 4 just climbed on top of the kitchen counter and kid number 3 is peeing on the wall. Priorities. 

Plus, the bar has really been raised for announcing a pregnancy these days. Based on what I’ve seen online the last couple years, a modern announcement requires 1) a professional photographer 2) ad agency-level witty copy, and 3) unrealistically cute posing. 

Apparently, peer pressure parenting starts before your baby is even born. But not everyone has the time, money, or patience with photographers to create a classy pregnancy announcement. What is one to do? 

Well, it turns out you can actually have a baby without a super saccharine announcement. I can attest to this four times over. Although maybe this is why we’ve only had boys...

I’m aware five kids is kind of a lot. Not because anyone is so callous to blurt out, “that’s A LOT of kids!,” or question my understanding of how reproduction works, or suggest I get cable TV.

Don’t get me wrong, those things happen, but that’s not why I’m aware five is an above-average number of children. No, I’m aware because when someone asks if we have kids and I say, “four and a fifth due this summer” people’s eyes bulge like cartoon characters as they try to determine if I’m making a joke. 

We have a friend who’s a mom who noted the different ways she was treated with different numbers of kids. With her first and second, she noted strangers’ helpfulness and kind looks. But when they had their third, she felt the same situations that previously elicited help (struggling to open a door, load groceries, etc) were met with looks that said, “well, it’s your own fault.”

I’ve observed similar sorts of interactions in public and it does seem (in general) people do sort of treat parents of many children with an air of disdain. 

Our family was out walking on a trail and a cyclist rode by. As he passed he quipped, “slow down or you’re going to catch up to the Duggars.” What this opining stranger was referring to was the reality TV family the Duggars -- who have 19 kids. This is more than a bit dramatic. Kind of like if I responded, “slow down or you might turn into Lance Armstrong.” We’re talking in differences of magnitude here. 

But that sort of exaggerated view appears to be the lens many in society are going to view our large family in. It’s like people think they’re at a buffet and when we enter they’re defensive because they think we’re going to eat all the food. Although the way the 18-month-old eats they may be onto something...

Regardless, we’ll be adding another car seat to the minivan this summer. Hopefully it will fit.