Kids and Gravity

Kids have a problem with gravity. It’s as if gravity is an invisible lion that stalks them and then pounces on them like they’re antelope at the most unexpected times. And also at any and all times.

Kids start out with a reasonable lack of understanding of gravity. After all, it’s invisible and babies aren’t exactly equipped to figure out what’s happening the first time they attempt to defy gravity.

A toddler will pull himself up to standing and fall back on his bottom. This has to be the ultimate, “what the?...” moment for a kid. I just picture all kids at this stage shooting sideways glances at their dad just knowing he must be coming over and pushing them down when they’re not looking.

And for a while, it’s just stand up, fall down repeat. By the time the toddler’s toddling, the concept of gravity is understood. Sort of.

But toddlers still have no respect for gravity. If they can get up on a chair, sofa, or table they think they’ve out-climbed gravity and can just space walk off said piece of furniture. After a few of these sorts of incidents the majority of kids have learned a healthy respect for gravity is warranted and while it’s fun to defy it at times, it’s best to choose those battles wisely.

There is also a lesser number of kids (or in my case, all but one of mine to-date) who just don’t get it. I suppose to be fair, it could also be that they get it but their clumsiness makes it inevitable. Either way, this smaller grouping of kids just keeps pushing the boundaries of gravity’s recall ability. They are the group that likes to lean out over the side of slides, jump off the edge of playgrounds, and climb bookcases and dressers.

These are the kids that ride their bikes off ramps, not for the thrill, but because they think once, just once they might be able to fly. These are also the kids least likely to be successful at any endeavor with an end goal of not being face down in the dirt.

In addition to all the things most kids will fall off of once or twice, my kids have (repeatedly) fallen off the following: the toilet, their seat at the kitchen table, and the floor. If you haven’t seen that last one, I can’t explain it. But if you’ve seen it, you know exactly what I mean.

For the most part this is a self correcting problem. They’ll either learn through trial and error that gravity has a pretty good hold on them (pun intended and identified here for the pun challenged) or have to innovate their way outside gravity’s domain à la the Wright brothers.

Either way, I foresee helmets being a requirement during many activities for years to come. Like riding bikes or attempting to sit on the toilet.