Playground Equipment Reviews

As the father of a pack of boys under age 6, I spend a good amount of time at parks and playgrounds. Because of this, I’ve become the equivalent of a food critic for playground equipment.

With a quick glance I can assess the appropriateness of the playground for the 2-year-old, whether the swings are conducive to mid-air collisions, as well as the many ways the boys will misuse the equipment and try to hurt themselves.

If you’re new to playgrounds or just want to get reacquainted with the pros and cons of each apparatus, check out the list below.

Slide (regular)

Pros: A playground staple that provides enjoyment to a wide age-range of kids.

Cons: Lava hot when baking in the summer sun. Real little kids crawl off the edge.

Slide (tube)
Pros: Great for kids of all ages.

Cons: Easy to climb on top of and then reenact pro wrestling moves on unsuspecting sliders popping out at the bottom.

Monkey bars

Pros: Kids feel a real sense of accomplishment when they master swinging from these bars. Excellent gravity coach.

Cons: Monkey bars are intimidating to some kids due to the aforementioned gravity coaching.

Swings

Pros: Offer exciting gateway into independent play as kids learn to swing themselves.

Cons: Often the scene of the most high-impact collisions on the playground.

Sand Box

Pros: Wildly entertaining to toddlers and conducive to creative play.

Cons: Every stupid cat within 5 miles thinks it’s their own giant litter box.

Climbing wall

Pros: Teaches coordination and patience. Pairs perfectly with toddlers’ innate desire to climb everything.

Cons: The backside of these walls often harbor wasp nests in the summer. Parent intervention is often necessary when kids get stuck.

Twisty thing (corkscrew or coil climber)

Pros: I don’t know, good for kids that like twisty things? Not really sure what the draw here is...

Cons: No one knows what the heck the thing is actually called without looking it up. Easy to get stuck in. Kind of dumb.

Merry-Go-Round

Pro: Roller coaster level thrills.

Cons: Death. Apparently there was a time when the height of playground enjoyment was embodied by a large, metal spinning turnstyle whose only speed regulating mechanism was the kid (or kids) spinning it getting tired. I’m all for old school playing outside, but the merry-go-round falls into the category of “what were they thinking?” playground equipment.

Tunnels

Pros: Excellent facilitator of peek-a-boo and games of hide and seek.

Cons: Graffiti. (Side note: Police should hang out at playgrounds and pick up the juvenile delinquents who write bad words on playground equipment. There is surely a correlation between teenagers defacing kids playground equipment and later more serious encounters with the law. Just saying.)

Jungle Gym

Pros: Can accommodate many children at one time and doubles as a fort on the inside.

Cons: Seems to invite children to attempt foolish feats such as flying and backflips.

See-Saw

Pros: Ends with laughing kids on both sides when things go right.

Cons: Ends in a trip to the ER when things go wrong.