Greeting cards for Every Occasion

I’ve been thinking about getting into the stationery business. With all the advances in technology, paper materials seem due for a resurgence. Plus, all the texting, emojis, and non face-to-face communication that cell phones have made the norm has created a generation unable to express things in words.

What better way to capitalize on a generation's inarticulation, than by offering greeting cards that say all the things they can only think about in pictures? Ok, I’m in. I officially sold myself on the idea in the last five sentences and have started Daddy Days Greeting Cards: We’re all the words a poop emoji just can’t even.

Note to non-millennials: The chopped up, grammatical Hindenburg at the end of that sentence is intentional and the sort of thing you have to say to keep a certain percentage of the population engaged in reading these days. It’s sort of like how drug companies and brokerage firms use songs from the 70s interspersed with videos of white people dancing to get Baby Boomers to pay attention to their commercials. It’s catchy, annoying, and apparently effective.

Anyway, Greetings from Daddy Days (I’ve already improved the name), will have cards for all the parenting occasions that call for a card to be sent. Just peruse the offerings in our top three categories below to see for yourself.

Milestones

• My condolences, on your loss of sleep. (Birth of first child.)
• Happy birthday. I was here. (First birthday.)  
• No refunds, exchanges, or take-backs. (For son-in-law on wedding day).
• Happy retirement - psych! (For parent sending child off to college).
• Congrats on not passing out! And on the baby and stuff. (For father after witnessing birth of first child).

Events that need cards

• Pardon us. Going through the thinks-he’s-an-animal stage. (Multiple occasions).
• Burn. Everything. (To friend who came over and two hours after they left your kid has the stomach flu).
• I’m so sorry you’re an idiot. (To friend who’s treasured glass curio was destroyed after they let your kid play with it).
• You have amazing restraint. (To nurse who didn’t pulverize your 2-year-old after they shrieked like a banshee for 15 minutes when they had to get shots).
• Our actions for the next 364 days do not negate the sincerity of the things we said yesterday. (For Mom the day after Mother’s Day).

Classic thank you cards

• Thank you for your gift of silence. (To stranger holding quiet baby on any form of public transportation).
• Wish you were hearing this. (Thank you for drum set).
• Thanks, we had to sell our sofa. (To family member who gave obnoxiously large gift that takes up more than 50% of the living space in any room).
• Thanks for not contaminating my air. You’re a pal. (For friend who didn’t bring their sick kid to your house).  
• You complete me. (For fellow father who gives beer as a baby shower gift).