Ketchup Culture

I think my kids are secretly starring in a musical called "Ketchup - On Everything!"  They sing the chorus of "more ketchup" throughout their time at the dinner table. Actually, it's not just limited to ketchup but any sort of dip-able condiment. Mustard, barbecue sauce, salsa, etc. If the meal even tangentially calls for dipping, they’re calling for dip.

I guess this is another example of how marketers know kids better than parents. It took me three kids to no longer be surprised, nay, to EXPECT toddlers to suck ketchup off French fries without eating the fry. The ketchup geniuses learned a long time ago that a sugary, tangy, squeezable condiment is going to sell because kids are going to want it.

We live in a ketchup culture, geared toward instant gratification, luxury items for kids, and a disregard for logical thought. And I don't just mean the luxury of having no less than 8 dippable condiments in the fridge, but remote control cars, on-demand entertainment, and any number of “smart” electronics. The marketers know what the kids want better than the parents do (and if not they’ll be sure to create that want).

But the parents know what their kids need. And all these marketing ploys make it tough to divide the needful from the harmful or at least the helpful from the useless. I'm not going to take away their ketchup but I won't argue it hasn't wrecked their taste palettes. Why eat earthy, fresh veggies when you can eat sugary vegetable product?

And I think this extends to so much else in our lives too. American society is just doused in ketchup culture, from the pop-up ads on the internet promising instant results (weight loss, hair gain, wealth) to the lifestyle expectations force fed to parents, to the flash-mob style introduction of changing social norms.

Why waste time chewing on the vegetables of life when your Facebook feed is pouring out non-stop ketchup? Maybe even fake ketchup...if there is such a thing as real ketchup.  

I have to admit I’m a little surprised where this column has ended up. I mean, it really did start out as literally about my kids eating ketchup. But in a whole different way, last year,  I became aware of the onslaught of outside forces trying to force feed “ketchup culture” to my kids (and to everyone else too).  

I guess when the “ketchup” hit the fan in so many ways in 2016, I had a realization about the true challenges of raising kids in this crazy world and the volatile task of parenting became that much more difficult to navigate.

The truth is, just because I had an epiphany doesn't mean my personal discovery is the discovery of anything new. But maybe the next time you see a bottle of ketchup you might think about it on a different level. Before you let the kids eat it up, of course.