Father's Almanac
Back in the day, farmers from our very community relied on the Farmer's Almanac for long range weather forecasts and other helpful tips and information. I imagine a few farmers still do, but with all the meteorological advancements and a whole Internet of information for the taking (in addition to the general population’s distaste for reading) I doubt you'll find many almanacs on the standard coffee table.
However, what would really be useful and more widely applicable is a Father’s Almanac. This trusty handbook would provide information regarding anticipated upcoming children's behaviors and other relevant fatherhood related information.
It just so happens that the folks at Daddy's Days (er, me), have just come out with the Daddy Days Father’s Almanac. Here’s a look at what’s in store for parents of kids aged newborn to five years in the coming months.
Fall 2016
Slightly higher than normal amounts of picky eating will be present at dinner this autumn and this will be compounded by regular complaints about the demands of school. An epidemic of whining when the pools close for the season can't be ruled out. In early November, the daylight saving time phenomenon will end and so will your toddler’s wonderful sleep pattern from the last few months.
Winter 2016-17
Expect to see a harsh cold and flu season this winter. In addition, a major blizzard of gifts from the family for Christmas is anticipated across the U.S. December is likely to produce record levels of TV and radio commercials for the new must-have fad toy which may result in above-average disciplinary measures for tantrumy kids.
Spring 2017
In mid-March, just when the kids have finally gotten into a nice sleep rhythm, you’ll spring ahead into the madness that is daylight saving time, and once again shake your fist in impotent rage at the government’s arbitrary insistence in continuing this scourge on family life. That’s all you need to know about the spring.
Summer 2017
Temperatures in June and July will be above average and force considerable amounts of play indoors. This will have a direct and detrimental impact on the organization of your house. Sibling spats will increase and frequent trips to the pool with be necessary to cool everyone down. Despite not sleeping for the entire spring, the children will have grown out of every swim suit and pair of shoes from the previous year and bank account draining trips to the store will be necessary.