Parenting is Like...

Over the last few years I've been asked what it's like to be a parent a number of times. I'm sure I usually gave some run-of-the-mill answer that made the asker wish (in order to get a less predictable response) they had asked a magic eight ball instead.

However, parenting has so many facets one standard answer can't possibly cover everything. I started making a list of responses that I thought accurately, if oddly, captured the strange and even paradoxical nature of what it's like being a parent. Some reflect the good, others the bad, but one thing's certain: you'll never see any of these sayings on an eight ball.

• Parenting is like living on a 10th floor walk up where you still get fat.
• Parenting is like riding a bike...on ice.
• Parenting is like going to sleep, because “like going to sleep” is not going to sleep. You will not sleep.
• Parenting is like a roller coaster; the first time you ride it you’re pretty sure you're going to die a few times.
• Parenting is like being a star, in a constellation, in an enormous galaxy you have no control over.
• Parenting is like being a fire lane; you are there for a reason and know what is best but are often ignored.
• Parenting is like being a palm tree on the news when a hurricane is blowing ashore.
• Parenting is like being the ice cream man among a pack of kids with no money when the freezer stops working.
• Parenting is like being a human cannonball in a circus where the main attraction is tap dancing elephants.
• Parenting is (probably) like being an artist; you get a lot more credit once you’re dead.
• Parenting is like an advanced placement course, when you really like the subject.
• Parenting is like a great career you never knew you wanted.
• Parenting is like eating leafy greens.
• Parenting is like losing your glasses and finding out you can see better without them.
• Parenting is like having your fast food order messed up, by getting extra fries and a shake.
• Parenting is like having a lifetime backstage pass for your favorite band.
• Parenting is like laying down a sacrifice bunt that wins the World Series.