Blockbusters
We’ll be entering the blockbuster movie season soon. As a father of young children, this doesn’t mean much to me anymore since I rarely go to the movies. But I still like to look and see what the summer hits are supposed to be and read the descriptions of the ones I don't know anything about.
This got me thinking. Based on their titles, what would popular movies be about in the parenting world...
Apocalypse Now - All the babies in the world start crying at 2 a.m. and won't stop. Or maybe just your baby.
Catch Me if you Can - A baby crawls across the country in the greatest tall-tale never told.
The Fast and the Furious - A mockumentary about competitive speed crawling babies, and the crazy, all-in parents who train them.
I Know What You Did Last Summer - A couple's child reveals she remembers all the dumb things they did when she was a baby and she recounts the tales before leaving for college.
An Inconvenient Truth - A father discovers that after having kids he has to sell his pickup truck for a minivan. Spoiler: It’s a tear-jerker.
Independence Day - A documentary following four different couples as they all see their youngest children off to college.
Jaws - A scientist tries to confirm what all breastfeeding mothers know: teething babies can exert more force than a great white shark.
Les Miserables - Set in the pre-disposable diaper era, this triumphant film tells the story of how one mom changed the lives of millions by inventing the modern diaper.
Lord of the Rings - A father struggles to keep the freezer stocked with teething rings as the teething era begins for his 6-month-old.
Mission Impossible - His mission, and he has no choice but to accept it, is to transport a sleeping baby from a vehicle to their bed. Without waking them. In a thunderstorm.
The Perfect Storm - A couple gets stuck at home in a blizzard with their two kids and runs out of diapers, the baby is teething, and the two-year-old won’t sleep.
Scream - A film showing what really happens when parents attempt Mission Impossible.
The Sixth Sense - A new mother discovers she has the most extraordinary power: she can sense when her son is about to pee on her when she’s changing his diaper.
Transformers - A birthday party for a one-year-old proves to be more than the parents bargained for when all the children transform from happy cake eaters to hungry, crying, and poopy guests.
Transformers 2 - A birthday party for a two-year-old proves to be more than the parents bargained for when all the children transform from happy cake eaters to hungry, crying, and poopy guests.
War of the Worlds - There are only two kinds of people; those who are potty trained and those who aren’t. Parents of the former struggle to bring children of the latter to the clean side. This one’s not for the squeamish.