The Double Stroller
If you asked me what it's like pushing a double stroller I’d say it’s like piloting a battleship in a swimming pool. And while I’ve never even piloted a battleship in the ocean, I think this is an accurate way to describe the unwieldy undertaking that is pushing a double stroller in retail stores.
We have (and by "have" I mean borrowed and totally appreciate) a double stroller that has seats that are one in front of the other instead of side by side. This makes it about 47 feet long in addition to weighing an elephant. My wife loves it since it means she doesn't have to carry one kid while pushing the other. While this is logical and stuff, I take issue with having to use it in small stores or anywhere a semi truck can't make a three-point turn.
Eli says, "beep, beep, beep" when I back it up, which I think is completely appropriate. (When the large woman at the grocery store backed up, not so much). And even though it collapses it's still a good thing we have a minivan or I doubt we'd be able to take it anywhere. Now if I could only have a pair of movers stowed away in the van to load it in and out...
Wait, there's more. Apparently people are so accustomed to seeing twins and triplets in oversized strollers on TV that they assume we have twins. Other than the subtle disappointed looks I observe when passersby realize they aren't twins, my only evidence is a small child pointing and saying to her mom, "look, twins!" But a little girl mistakenly pointing is really all the evidence I need to know I'm right.
The monster truck stroller (as I’ve been known to call it) also brings the inconsiderateness of pedestrians toward stroller pushers to the fore. Note to all you 20 somethings on cell phones drinking $5 coffees and walking in the middle of the walkway: Get. Out. Of. The. Way. You will rue the day you declared yourself center of the sidewalk once the patent for my stroller snow plow attachment is approved.
To be fair, pedestrians failing to yield to the stroller is an issue even when I’m pushing the single seat stroller. I’d like to start a public awareness campaign aimed at addressing this. The first batch of shirts would read “I yield to strollers” and would depict a stroller silhouette inside the outline of a yield sign. I’m too busy putting the finishing touches on my stroller snow plow attachment to work on this right now, so any readers with a knack for t-shirt design have at it. Awareness is key.
There are good things about the double stroller. Like how it has built-in shocks so it handles uneven ground like a champ, and how Eli’s seat is out in front so he can turn around and smile at me (or say, “beep”). But the best thing about it is it gives me an opportunity to try and convince strangers me sons (who are 18 months apart) are twins. Double strollers really are twice the fun.