Hand-me-Downs

I love hand-me-downs. I especially love how there is no quid pro quo expectation in the hand-me-down transaction. Actually, most families who have given us clothes for Eli and/or John act like we're doing THEM a favor. Suckers! It's a good thing though, because if you were supposed to return the favor there's one family we'd owe about four years of clothing to.

According to my mom, my affinity for hand-me-downs started at a young age. For the six years my older brother was bigger than me, I would thrill in getting his hand-me-downs. So much so, I created a new name for them; hand-me-backs. This was because my brother would go to the dresser and sort out what was too small by throwing it over his back to me. I have since found standing behind people going through a dresser to be less rewarding.

As much as a fan as I am now, hand-me-downs and I started off on the wrong foot. On my first birthday, unbeknownst to me, my parents re-gifted all my brother’s first birthday toys to me. Somehow, I was not indignant about this as a baby. But I made up for that when I found out. It’s funny though how that indignation melted away as I gave Eli hand-me-down toys from our friends.

And now that Eli is 20 months old and tired of all the toys he got for his first birthday (slash ever), I’ve found myself wondering if we should pack up some of his toys to re-gift to John for his first betrayal, I mean birthday. The irony doesn’t escape me, but it isn’t likely to stop me either. It’ll build character (he muttered to himself bitterly). Okay, so most of the indignation melted away...

This is just the way it goes for the second born. We get hand-me-down clothing, an earlier bedtime, and the burden of being the better looking one. We also develop a keen ability to inflate our own self esteem.

We get slighted on certain things, but we also get the benefit of not being first. And when I’m the dad, that can be a huge benefit. For instance, John will be spared the horror of being in the van while I take it through the car wash. I’m pretty sure Eli would have traded getting hand-me-down birthday presents for life to avoid that experience.

Perhaps I’m biased, but I think second borns actually get the better end of the deal. Sure, we have to suffer through some hand-me-down toys and clothing, but the advantage of not being the guinea pig baby seems to outweigh that. Plus, it’s so much easier not to feel guilty about giving your children hand-me-down birthday presents when you’ve received them yourself.