Playgrounds

Eli has taken to swings, slides, and throwing pea gravel like a fish to water (this is the perfect analogy since fish throw a fit when you take them out of the water) so I’ve begun to spend more time at the playground.

Playgrounds are a great source of free entertainment. While this is certainly true for my son, I'm actually referring to myself. Unlike my son, my amusement doesn’t come from the bucket swings but from what people say and do while I'm there.

For example, there was an ice cream truck driving by the playground and as one mom heard it approaching she started giggling and quietly said to another mom, "I told my kids the ice cream truck only plays music when they're out of ice cream." Genius. This is exactly the kind of information parents should be sharing.

However, instead of sharing brilliant, evil plans I usually just end up sharing awkward moments with other parents. Even though there are enough awkward children interactions to go around (kids going into other people’s diaper bags or taking off their pants while standing at the top of the slide for example) my uncomfortable interactions are usually parent driven.

The most frequent source of these situations is the phenomenon where a parent is talking to their kid about my kid in such a way they want me to hear them but they don't address me. This isn't as confusing as it sounds. If I'm pushing Eli in a swing, a mom will walk by with her daughter and say, "look at that little boy. He’s using the swing." During this time we stumble through a 15 second period of awkward eye contact since the mom isn't really talking to me but apparently wants me to know she’s talking about my son.

This isn't nearly as baffling as the parents who try to have conversations with my son when, for the most part, he doesn't really speak. We were at the playground and I was watching Eli bury his shoe in gravel. A mom walked by and said to Eli, "what's your name?" He looked back at her blankly. She said it again. He looked up at me. So I said to her, "oh, he doesn't talk." Then Eli and I walked away.

I thought we handled the situation well. I mean we weren't rude or anything. But my wife later informed me that this is a common occurrence and as the parent I was supposed to answer for Eli and tell the lady his name. I have notice however, that only moms seem to think this is obligatory behavior. My son and I can be at the playground with other dads and their kids and we’ll go the whole time without saying a word. But if there are moms about, it’s like a daytime talk show and I’m the unwitting guest.

Now, it would be easy to chalk these awkward interactions up to my uncanny ability to bring out the awkward in any situation. But perhaps there’s something bigger going on. Maybe the playground model presents a challenge for the typical dad who just wants to spend time with his kid instead of talking with others about him. Or maybe it just isn’t designed for dads at all. I’m not sure, but I do know this; I feel like a fish out of water when I’m there.