The Roadtrip
We embarked on our first family road trip last week. My wife, son, and I made a five and a half hour drive to north Texas to visit my brother. During our trip I learned a few things about taking a roadtrip with a baby.
Lesson #1: You need to take stuff. So. Much. Stuff. Not just bottles, baby food, and diapers, but enough baby clothes to clothe an army of garden gnomes. And you need wipes, toys, a stroller, a Pack ‘n Play, a changing mat and don’t forget the flux capacitor! We didn’t really bring a flux capacitor. Probably.
Lesson #2: Use a luggage cart. Until this trip I had never used a luggage cart at a hotel and I’m pretty sure most people staying for three nights shouldn’t need to. But I loaded that sucker down. I was sure the concierge was going to tell me I couldn’t take it up the elevator because it exceeded the weight limit but I did it anyway. Being a father has emboldened me in such circumstances. I’m kind of like James Bond, if he carried a diaper bag and was packing Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.
Lesson #3: A sleeping baby trumps everything. And since the baby will wake up if the car stops, the car can’t stop. Which also means you can’t pee. Or get food. Or get gas.
Lesson #3.5: This is why you drive a minivan. The gas tank is big enough to allow for hours of uninterrupted driving, there’s plenty of space to bring food along (parenting protip: use the space in between the front seats of your minivan to store a small ice chest stocked full of your driving beverage of choice) and having a removable third row of seating means you can swap out a seat for a make-shift porta-potty.
Lesson #4: Do not swap out a seat for a make-shift porta-potty.
Lesson #5: Rest stops and picnic areas (at least along Highway 281) are not different terms for the same place. A rest stop has a bathroom. A picnic area has barrel trashcans. As such, telling your wife you’re not stopping at that gas station because there’s a picnic area 10 miles ahead will not win you any husband of the year awards.
Lesson # 6: If you have to stop to feed the baby, avoid rest stops that overlook the highway. On the return trip we stopped at a picnic area that was on a hill just off the highway. We sat down and my wife started feeding our son, but every time a car passed he’d whip his head around to watch the car. This is amusing to parents for about two minutes. This is amusing to a baby forever.
Lesson #7: Making good time is very important. I’m not sure why this is, all I know is as soon as I got behind the wheel I started referencing how we were “making good time” every half and hour. I guess it’s a dad thing.
Overall, the first roadtrip with the baby was far less stressful than I thought it would be. Not to say we didn’t encounter a bit of turbulence at times, but it wasn’t the disaster I thought it might be. And you know what? We even made good time.