The Fatherhood Disease
Do you lack the energy you used to have? Do the things that used to interest you no longer strike your fancy? Does the term "blowout" evoke images that have nothing to do with a sale at any store? As you probably guessed from that last query these questions weren't designed to determine if you're depressed. They were designed to determine if you're a dad.
You see, fatherhood is a severely under diagnosed condition in this country. In fact some study somewhere says 1 in 3 men have it. Fatherhood is a sexually transmitted disease and symptoms often aren't detectable in an affected individual (colloquially referred to as an "old man") until nine months after it's contracted.
When the symptoms start they are often intense and usually require drastic lifestyle changes. Sleeplessness, exhaustion, worrying about the future, and that feeling you get in your stomach when the elevator drops a little bit faster than it's supposed to are the most common symptoms initially reported. The sudden desire to own a minivan and the overwhelming importance of "storage space" in every buying decision are additional symptoms frequently reported.
Ok, so fatherhood isn't really a disease and as amusing as rattling off symptoms of the condition can be, it's not fair to view fatherhood as some sort of sickness. There are plenty of good things about being a father too. Fathers’ day, tax deductions, and the right to condescendingly say, "When I was growing up..." come to mind.
If that doesn’t do it for you, there are even perks with deeper meanings like seeing your kiddo laugh for the first time or watching him discover his foot is connected to his body or seeing him spit up on someone who just won't stop bouncing him. Sometimes fatherhood can be downright fun.
However you’re not going to find a dad recommending fatherhood because it's fun. I can just see someone trying to “sell” fatherhood that way: Do you dislike sleeping for seven hours straight? Do you love the smell of baby poop in the morning? Do you hate having the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing? Well then do I have a deal for you!
The truth is, the positives of fatherhood do outweigh the negatives. They’re just not the types of positives men are used to. The sacrifices, realizations, challenges, and wonders that come with raising a kid/kids are the positives of fatherhood. They’re just easy to overlook or ignore.
So, if you or someone you know is diagnosed with fatherhood don’t despair. Even though it’s a lifelong condition, your best days are still ahead of you. And unlike a real disease, fatherhood will actually enhance your appreciation of life. Now that’s an easy pill to swallow.