Bedtime

I put my seven-month-old son Eli to bed for the first time last week. Now, I’m a fairly involved dad, but there are some things that fall outside the scope of my parenting. Bedtime is one of them. Nonetheless, when a situation that required me to do bedtime alone presented itself, I undertook the endeavor with courage and bravado.

However, nothing will zap your bravado like the realization that you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m not talking about comical, Hollywood dad hijinkses like getting spit up on because you’re bouncing the baby or not being able to put a baby into pajamas (although that’s harder than it sounds). I’m talking about the real things like what time should the baby nap, how much does he need to eat to “make sure he gets enough,” and what recourse do you have if he doesn’t want to sleep?

These things don’t seem complicated or even important when you’re not running bedtime. But when you’re in charge, and alone, it’s a whole different story. Suddenly naptime has butterfly effect potential. I mean, if my son falls asleep a little too late for his afternoon nap and then wakes up a little too late, it could cause a bedtime hurricane of wailing and torrential tear downpours that this dad can’t withstand.

And it’s these kinds of fears of the unknown and unpredictable that grip you when you’re the baron of bedtime. So much for my bravado. It disappeared the second my wife walked out the door. It’s a good thing too since it would have been emasculated by me reading “Goodnight Little Bear” anyway. However, something else disappeared to.

As I fed Eli, put him in his footie pajamas, and read to him, my fear started to fade. After all, Eli had me all alone and could let me have it. However he was content. Not only that, but he was looking up at me with a look that said he knew I was going to take care of him.

I won’t lie and say bedtime went perfectly smooth. A little storm broke out when I laid him down and things looked daunting for a few minutes but he calmed down. By the time my wife returned so had my bravado. Does this mean I want to start putting Eli to bed more regularly? I think I’ll let the expert handle that.